Saturday, February 14, 2009

True Love Doesn't Wait

I went out to meet my Beloved today. He very graciously received me... even after the many times I have rejected and neglected our precious times together. Truly I am a very unfaithful lover! He wants to do everything with me, though I don't understand why after all the ways I have wronged and scorned Him. When I sleep, He is beside me protecting me from harm. When I wake, He is ready to greet me with a smile and encouraging word. I dance, and He is there watching; taking delight in my joy and pressing me on in the mistakes. When I work, study, write, talk, relate... in every mundane or simple task I do He is always there taking sincere interest in my accomplishments.


I wish I could say that I loved Him as much as He loves me. His strength is beyond my comprehension and His protection so sure; unlike most suitors He has never once left my side. Sometimes I ask Him why, when I have slapped His gentle hands away so many times, He still picks me up when I fall. The love and joy shining in His face is so perfect in comparison to my own countenance, I can't even look at it long enough to know His answer.


You would think that with such a perfect Provider claimed as my own, that I would constantly be boasting of Him to my friends. Any sane girl would be talking nonstop about such a Protector! He should be within my thoughts at all times, like a love-sick maiden who can long for nothing more than to be alone with her Beloved. If I understood the smallest fraction of the love offered me I would throw away everything within my sight and reach out to Him, asking only to never leave His embrace.

My Protector is jealous of me. Of me! I who mock and scorn Him. I who constantly fill my life with other idols and loves! And yet He does not sit by idly and watch me go to my ruin. He is so strong and faithful, and not only provides me with every tool to protect myself, but He has already fought the fight for me; securing my safety.


He tells me that His desire is for me, and He rejoices over me with singing. I am His delight! At first it fills me with despair and shame to see His love for me, and my unworthiness of it. I can't understand it... it is too good to be true! Is there really “true love”, such a perfect dedication and sacrifice? Even if there were, it wouldn't be bestowed on me, the least deserving of those around me!

But looking back and pinching myself, I still see Him there. Joy of joys! It is true! Before my eyes flash the vision of a cross, of pain and suffering, and bloodstained hands. Somehow my fears and shame fall away as I see my Rescuer standing there, just as He always was, ready to give me a gift I never could deserve. Will I take it, today, tomorrow, and every day?


Tears stream down my face in unspeakable gratitude, joy and love as I run into His arms, witnessing His incredible strength and power... and gentleness. He whispers into my ear those endearments that for so long I took for granted. The one thing I had to do all along was learn to accept something beyond my comprehension; something I least deserved. I saw my shame and witnessed my own filth and rags, but the One I gained in losing myself was worth all the universe.


I went out to meet my beloved today...

3 comments:

Elijah said...

Wow, thanks for sharing this!

I read "Silent betrayal: Public confession may be difficult, but it's half the gospel" by Andrée Seu last night: http://www.worldmag.com/articles/14884

This reminded me of it: "You would think that with such a perfect Provider claimed as my own, that I would constantly be boasting of Him to my friends."

I need to remember to talk about Jesus more and more.

Thankfully God gives grace so we don't need to live feeling guilty of how imperfect we are.

I hope you have a good Sunday,

Elijah

Johanna said...

GREAT~GREAT~GREAT~POST!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Jennifer. So true. It is so sad to see girls who get so caught up in waiting for their "true love" that they take their focus off God.

Now I'm off to ramble about Hosea's wife and fun Hebrew words.

-Maria