Why I'm not going to college

As a naïve 16 year old, I thought being asked where I went to school was bad enough. Being asked what grade I was in was even worse. Try telling someone you are home schooled (my mom teaches me... actually, most of it is self study) and that you really aren't in one grade; it depends on what subject you're talking about. There was always that strange look that would eventually pass as they politely say “oh, that's nice”.

That was then. Now as a home school graduate the simple question “so what are you doing now?” could be considered the hardest question to answer; especially for the 576^th time. Life is so easy for college students. The answer is a short and oh-so-easy “Bellevue University” or “Wheaten College”. Why? Because it's expected. Even in our free country where certain forms of education are not mandatory - but each citizen is free to choose his schooling method - people are still held captive by the status quo.

As a homeschooler and a Christian I was taught not to do things the easy way just for the sake of measuring up to the standards of others (and started to live that out at the age of 6 under the tutelage of my mother). Homeschoolers are not always safe from the cold shoulder or even harassment from government officials and Legislative bills. Abstaining from watching certain movies, saying certain words or hanging out with certain friends can be difficult. Wearing feminine skirts and dresses is definitely not something expected or easy to do in our flippant and sex-promoting culture.

But explaining that you're not going to college brings such bizarre looks and comments it's not even funny. When others see me working during school hours the question is sure to come up. Why aren't you away at college like everybody else?

Here are some answers that may shock you as well.

I am staying under my father's authority and protection

A few years ago I would have told you my dream was to either go to college and study classical art or join a dance company away from home. Most of this was due to my desire to please others; to present a degree and be praised for my accomplishments. Over the past year especially I have come to appreciate the security and protection of my home; my parents' continual guidance and wisdom, the closeness of a family relationship, the added liberty of no college or living expenses.

Skeptics can call stay-at-home daughters isolated and ignorant (as counter culture women, we can take it), but no 18 year old, home schooled or public schooled, can guarantee her maturity and strength to battle every negative influence she encounters away from home. Nor can we say that stay-at-home daughters are sheltered from life experiences and struggles simply because we live at home, watched over by our fathers.

I don't need a professor to learn what I want to

It seems to be a common misconception among critics that living at home means a girl does not get a job, take classes, and interact with other human beings. I am not restricted to socializing with my family, or working simply in our kitchen during the day (though I'm definitely not opposed to it). I have waitressed, teach ballet, volunteer at our Church office and am coordinating a volunteer group for a local campaign (Beau McCoy for Legislature).

My father has also encouraged me to consider taking classes at a community college someday, and I have many new skills, talents and jobs I want to learn over the next few years. My interests have always been with the arts; mainly ballet and violin. I also enjoy sewing, cooking, embroidery, reading, and would like to continue expanding my knowledge in history, science, math and language.

The best part about all this is, there are endless books and resources to help me learn - without a professor to look over my shoulder and tell me what to read or study. Self study requires a lot of diligence and focus, but almost all of the subjects I have an interest in learning are more than possible to learn on my own.

I can't afford the expense, and don't want secular teaching

While expense is definitely not the major reason I'm staying at home, it's a pretty big factor! Any college I would go away to would have to be a Christian private college, and I'm afraid Patrick Henry just isn't within our budget! How nice to be able to save my money for future expenses, like a home when I marry or a savings account for any emergency that comes up.

There's no way I would ever consider going to a secular college. You may call me weak; I don't think that I could handle being bombarded every day with an evolutionary and biased worldview, and consistently come out making the right conclusions and being untouched by it all. Granted, some classes are more generic and some professors more balanced, but for the most part college classes consistently teach an anti-Christian and very liberal worldview. However, being able to choose my own books and resources and take questions to the best professors ever (my parents!) has been a successful process yet, and without the anxiety of always having to be on my guard for untruths and biased opinions.

I want to be available

Something I always looked forward to during High School was the freedom to drop everything and focus on a special project or opportunity when it arises. One such example would be campaigning. Homeschoolers have been extremely influential with political campaigns simply because we are able to put school aside for a few days to volunteer.

Generation Joshua offers academic courses and creates political groups for teens, and since 2004 has been coordinating Student Action Teams for conservative candidates across the U.S. This year there will be many different teams campaigning. Meeting candidates, making phone calls, and being a part of the election process is an excellent educational opportunity; not to mention character building and learning to communicate effectively

This Fall my sister and I will be coordinating a group of teens to help out with the Beau McCoy for Legislature campaign; an opportunity we never would have had if we were attending college. As a single young lady, I want to be available to help when needed; to support my father's role at Church as an elder and help minister to families, to take part in performances and festivals, to be involved in ministries by writing, volunteering, and traveling.

One adventure my family hopes to take (soon!) is building a straw bale house on an acreage. This means designing a home, building together, landscaping and gardening. I'm excited to be available to work with my family on such a project; to design rooms and plan orchards and gardens. The opportunities are endless for young ladies who offer themselves for service to others and the Lord.

Conclusion

College is not inherently evil and I know many beautiful and Godly young women attending college away from home. I rejoice that we are free to pursue our interests as we feel led. For myself, I believe the Lord has led me to stay at home, and I couldn't be happier in another place. As I want to be available for projects that come up, so I want to be available to get married when the time comes. I have so many dreams and aspirations, but my greatest is to become a wife and mother for the Kingdom.

So in the end, what is to become of all the weird looks from shocked strangers at my occupation? My prayer is that the Lord's work would be evident in me as I fulfill my calling at home. I want to politely yet firmly show that really, it's not the opinion of others that affects the things I do and say. While it may be a trifle annoying to be asked that inevitable question for the 577^th time, the Lord knew there was a reason for it, and I choose to believe it's for His glory and not my own.

The Film of My Life: Part 1

Delivered at the ceremony for my high school graduation, Saturday May 24th.

The plot

I have to warn you that the plot of my movie is quite unlike that of Mission Impossible, The Rock or Armagedden. While I'm all for saving the innocent civilians and doing the impossible for the good of the universe, my role as the lead actress in my movie is less about M-16s and gum that explodes, and more about my mission at home as a young lady. The overall and life-long mission is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. In the near future, the plot (which is always subject to change according to the screenwriter's plan) is to further my knowledge of God and His creation while serving my family and friends, as I hope you have seen evidence of in part one of my film.

Meet the director

First of all, I would like you to meet my director. I really couldn't have asked for a better father. Even when my act isn't all together, and things start to come out looking more like a comedy than an inspirational drama, he's gracious with me and always has time to go over the script together, page by page. Unfortunately, in our day and age, the audience is clamoring for productions of young ladies who are totally independent of any director. However, having stumbled through my lines and confused the script of God's word over and over, I am living proof that young ladies need a firm and constant director by their side to encourage, correct, and counsel.

There's another special person who stands behind the director, but is no less important, and that's the producer. Basically, without the producer, the director would be totally confused and the show would never quite hit the box office. She's a very special person; someone I want to be like when my solo role becomes a duet.

The stunt men

There are some other special cast members that you really ought to hear about. You don't usually hear a lot about the stunt men (and woman) but I have 6 and they all helped to make certain that the film didn't turn out to be a yawner! They kept things interesting and always provided ample bloopers for after the show. They are my critics, and my supporters who kept the show on the road when I was tired.

The theater

A sad and damaging aspect in modern film-making of culture today is the idea that once an actor or actress turns 18 it's time to hit the stage, lights on, cameras rolling! We're told that we've had the amount of training we're going to get, so go perform and don't mess up! Young people are cut off from directors and producers, assuming they are mature, strong, and tough enough to battle the demands of the audience.

And the majority of actors and actresses fall into the thinking that there's only one way to hit the screen and become a star; and that everyone around them has to do it the same way. Those who choose to perform in other ways, or to train backstage longer with the director and producer, are looked upon as failures who can't make their own way in the real world ; the world of Hollywood.
I can't promise the audience that I'll take the well trodden path to college, but I can promise them that there is a sequel to part one of my act, and it doesn't involve a halfhearted role backstage.

The screenwriter

So yeah; my whole plot really clashes with that of Hollywood's. In fact, my whole film is declared to become a failure when it hits theaters near you. My make up and costuming is more reserved than the audience likes to see, my backdrop more simple. Some people see it as a documentary; a boring film that doesn't spark any interest. Others are missing the plot because they see it as a wide screen; missing half of the story because their didn't comprehend the script.

I'll admit; it's pretty hard to ignore the critical and clamoring audience of the world. A clean, religious, or simply different style of movie can stand out almost like a sore thumb, and it's a constant temptation to try and change the script I was given in order to fit in and escape the rebuke of those around me. But my script says that if I have friendship with the World, I have enmity with my screenwriter, and there's only one who can get me through my film. It's hard to stay true to the script and ignore the status quo, but by the grace of God I can present a film that's a failure according to Hollywood, but a successful hit according to my screenwriter.

Until now I haven't really mentioned much about the screenwriter, but His fingerprints are all over my director, producer, and my film. He gave us the whole script, complete with the backdrop of our home and adequate training supplies and cast. When we were tired of always editing and rehearsing He got us back on track. The best part of it was, we didn't even have to set up a time to ask questions and go over the script; He was constantly there with a ready ear.
This is not a film about me. I want every act, audition; even the deleted scenes to be about my Screenwriter! When the red carpet is pulled out, it is my prayer that you would see Him in me and that I would give my Lord all the glory and credit for my performance here on earth.

-Jennifer

Why I am thankful for my father's authority

1. It provides me with a security that I cannot attain myself

I am a young lady. I am feminine, and I possess the womanly charms that lure a man. I am not a man. I do not always have the strength to protect myself; my heart is easily drawn towards things which deceive, and often I do not know when they are drawing me in. I have the strength and endurance that my Lord gives me in times of need, and yet I am a woman, sensitive, and vulnerable when left to myself.

I know all this, and yet often I attempt to resist that fact, and show that I can have complete control of my life and my heart. But I do not. Just as my body longs for the physical and emotional freedoms to be a liberated woman, my heart will always long for and require the security of a man’s arms. Who is this man? What face is it that I envision as I dream of that blanket of security, that source of love; and guidence? I see two faces, one that I know and have always known; the other that is blank, and yet to be filled in. The face that I know is my father. And until I am carefully guided into the arms of another, I will remain under my father’s care and love. This is my security, this is my place, and to take it away would mean to leave me unprotected, open to the large, sinful world that threatens to ruin me.

2. It teaches me to be submissive, and guides me in my future role as a mother

Our culture today is one of domineering women; very few wives show their husbands the proper respect and submissiveness to his plans. I am blessed with having a man for a father, who holds his place as the chief decision maker and guider of the household. This, though feminists scream discrimination, helps me to better rise to my God-given, wonderful role as a future wife and mother through the clear placement of my role as a help-meet to my future husband. While learning to take my father’s advice and counsel, I am preparing to accept counsel from my husband in my own home in the years to come.

3. It allows me to pursue my dreams and leave the husband-searching up to him

Men have a lot of work to live up to their responsibilities. They have to get an education or go into a field of work to insure a job, they have to search for a wife and then make sure that she is the right one, and then they have to care for and maintain a household by providing an income and the training grounds for a disciplined home. Men have to be leaders; not just in their homes, but in the church and society as well. That’s a lot of work for guys to constantly be challenged with leadership in a big, conflicting world.

But when I think of my role as a young single lady, there's a totally different feeling and role. My required education happens during my younger years in the home; doing school, teaching my siblings, and helping to maintain a home. By the time I turn 18, that education should be complete, and I will then be free to pursue God and my talents during the single years. I don’t even have to think once about finding a husband; I am privileged to leave that to my father. Of course a woman’s role is never easy; bearing children and raising them up to be strong in the Lord is a skill only to be learned through years of hard work; but for now, I am free to learn about God, pursue that which I love to do, and leave the worrying about a future husband to my dad. What a load off the mind of a single young lady!

4. I love my father

Feminists love to paint pictures of evil men; tyrants who make women their slaves. If I happened to be under the control and authority of such a man, you would most likely not be reading this! But I am not. My dad is one of the most kind men; sure, he has his moments, just like everybody else. But I can see that he works to be the husband and father that God wants him to be, and for that he has won my admiration, respect, and love. He gives me freedoms, and he also sets boundaries for me; but never in anger. Why should I be discontented by obeying someone I love? If I love my dad and am content under his rule, why should I make myself upset and angry simply because he is a man and I am a girl? As long as my dad continues to counsel and instruct me in love and tenderness, he will never lose my respect for his authority over me.

We women dislike to be told of our faults. We hate to be told we are doing something wrong. To our core, we hate to have someone in control of us. But even as our natures are resisting any authority, our spirits long for it. Who likes to be left all to herself, without help, guidance or a sense of safety? What young lady goes through her life completely confident and satisfied when without counsel or help? Try dumping a sixteen year-old girl in the streets, and see how she does. Despite our protests, anger and cry for equality we are only searching for a role in which we find fulfillment; and that is where the baby boomer generation went wrong. Women abandoned the homes and fought long and hard to grasp a selfishly bought freedom; the freedom to think, live and be totally on our own without guidance. Don’t we all fight for freedom? Don’t we all resist God’s law until He finally breaks down our defenses and penetrates our souls? Face it ladies; you’re a woman, and that’s not about to change. So quit fighting, embrace who you are, and thank your Creator that He has set men over us to protect us.