Talking to our veterans: what NOT to say

Michael is a U.S. soldier with ties to my small home-town, and we have been writing him during his tour to Iraq. Lately this article he wrote appeared in our small town newspaper;

“It was good to be back in the states mid-tour leave. I needed that little jolt of normalcy. However, in the interest of tact and etiquette, I feel compelled to write the following. When did the following become an acceptable ice-breaker; “So, have you killed anyone?” Someone approaching me could broach the subject of the war by asking what I think of Iraq in general; or what I do all day; or what needs to be done to rebuild Iraq.”

“I have been in a combat zone for 6 months, but I haven’t de-evolved into some bloodthirsty sociopath. Is that what the public perception of the war in Iraq is? Does the American public think the war is all about suicide bombers punishing rival sects for disagreements that pre-date the Aztec empire while U.S. forces recklessly mow down bystanders and reduce property to a rubble? Why would anyone ask me if I had killed someone? Do you think that’s something I would be proud of? Even if I did, why would I want to discuss taking another human’s life? Iraq seems to straddle the line between taboo and morbid intrigue, but common sense could dictate how some conversations should and shouldn’t begin.”

“99% of the people back home are supportive, and I am very grateful for everything they have done to help those of us in the military. If you want to show your gratitude, just go on living your life and doing what you enjoy (my insert: as long as you do it in a respectful, moral way).”

Anyone who asks such a question as to whether or not a soldier killed someone in battle obviously doesn’t know anything about war. Why do we go to war? To take out the bad guys. How do we take out the bad guys? No, we don’t talk to them and gently coax them into a peaceful agreement. We don’t nicely capture them and let them sit in a cushy jail cell. We KILL them.

I sincerely wish I could tell you all Americans were educated and sensitive enough to realize this; and also to realize that killing another human being is not something a person wants to talk about. But I can’t, and I pray that God would protect our troops from such rude and stupid comments that too many Americans feel they have the excuse to say.