True Love Doesn't Wait

I went out to meet my Beloved today. He very graciously received me... even after the many times I have rejected and neglected our precious times together. Truly I am a very unfaithful lover! He wants to do everything with me, though I don't understand why after all the ways I have wronged and scorned Him. When I sleep, He is beside me protecting me from harm. When I wake, He is ready to greet me with a smile and encouraging word. I dance, and He is there watching; taking delight in my joy and pressing me on in the mistakes. When I work, study, write, talk, relate... in every mundane or simple task I do He is always there taking sincere interest in my accomplishments.

I wish I could say that I loved Him as much as He loves me. His strength is beyond my comprehension and His protection so sure; unlike most suitors He has never once left my side. Sometimes I ask Him why, when I have slapped His gentle hands away so many times, He still picks me up when I fall. The love and joy shining in His face is so perfect in comparison to my own countenance, I can't even look at it long enough to know His answer.

You would think that with such a perfect Provider claimed as my own, that I would constantly be boasting of Him to my friends. Any sane girl would be talking nonstop about such a Protector! He should be within my thoughts at all times, like a love-sick maiden who can long for nothing more than to be alone with her Beloved. If I understood the smallest fraction of the love offered me I would throw away everything within my sight and reach out to Him, asking only to never leave His embrace.

My Protector is jealous of me. Of me! I who mock and scorn Him. I who constantly fill my life with other idols and loves! And yet He does not sit by idly and watch me go to my ruin. He is so strong and faithful, and not only provides me with every tool to protect myself, but He has already fought the fight for me; securing my safety.

He tells me that His desire is for me, and He rejoices over me with singing. I am His delight! At first it fills me with despair and shame to see His love for me, and my unworthiness of it. I can't understand it... it is too good to be true! Is there really “true love”, such a perfect dedication and sacrifice? Even if there were, it wouldn't be bestowed on me, the least deserving of those around me!

But looking back and pinching myself, I still see Him there. Joy of joys! It is true! Before my eyes flash the vision of a cross, of pain and suffering, and bloodstained hands. Somehow my fears and shame fall away as I see my Rescuer standing there, just as He always was, ready to give me a gift I never could deserve. Will I take it, today, tomorrow, and every day?

Tears stream down my face in unspeakable gratitude, joy and love as I run into His arms, witnessing His incredible strength and power... and gentleness. He whispers into my ear those endearments that for so long I took for granted. The one thing I had to do all along was learn to accept something beyond my comprehension; something I least deserved. I saw my shame and witnessed my own filth and rags, but the One I gained in losing myself was worth all the universe.

I went out to meet my beloved today...

Fireproof: The Movie

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Extra rust, please

As teenagers, we often get the lower end of the deal, the… less expensive items than our parents. And for good reason, too! My parents have had 30 years more experience in life than I have, so when given responsibility over something of obvious less value, I should be thankful my parents are playing it safe, for as my sister can attest to… I can be rather reckless at times.

Sometimes it may amaze us how, when put into a situation that at first appears to be the absolute end of the world, we begin to feel at ease and even happy with our situation after becoming accustomed to it. And when it comes to me and my car, I can relate to this feeling of silly attachment. Let me introduce you to my car… it’s an ’86 Honda Accord with unique dents (all with a story to tell) and plenty of rust. It hasn’t been washed in… well, it hasn’t been washed, and the interior boasts unhealthy amounts of dust and tissues. Obviously, not high on the list of any teen who wants to look cool.

When I first started driving, I hated the slow acceleration, weak lights, and bad radio (which added very interesting sound affects to the music!) in our old car. But as time went on, the car proved to be faithful- despite harsh weather or anxious drivers- to get us from place to place. It was a car, and we learned to be thankful for it, despite it’s rusty, old appearance. After two years of driving, in the dust and heat, as well as ice and cold, I hadn’t realized until recently how emotionally attached I had become to it.

Dad bought a new one. It’s ten years younger than our Honda, and sports a CD player, comfortable interior, shiny exterior, and the AC even works!! But when it showed up in our driveway, suddenly I wanted my old, dented, purple car back.

Silly? Probably. But we all have things we get attached to (sometimes in a way that no one else can understand!), and the fact of the matter is; we all hate to let them go. I know I’ll get over selling our old car, and of course it’s not the end of the world. But when faced with change or loss, it helps to remember that Christ always stays the same and never leaves us. And the best part of it is; he’s even better than a rusty old car- He is perfect in His beauty and glory.

May I not look behind at the things of the past, but without hesitation step on the gas and accelerate ahead to the future of the glories that await me.

To my future husband on Valentine's Day

So it’s Valentine’s Day. It’s such a big deal to some people; the pressure to find the perfect gift for a girl or boyfriend. A lot of people view this holiday as an excuse to eat chocolate, steal a kiss, or just enjoy the fact they have someone to call their girl or guy. There are so many couples out there today; young men and women with their arms draped around each other; kissing, hugging, and escaping the modern day discomfort of walking into the mall without a partner.

Do you ever find it hard to watch the young people of our day being paired up, while you wait for me? I know it’s so hard to go against the flow… and waiting to finally enjoy each other’s company without hesitance and restriction can be such a challenge. But I want to thank you; for the times when you struggle to keep your mind and heart pure for me. When you turn down a date, treat other girls with proper respect, and refrain from giving your heart to others, I am truly grateful. Love only becomes true when bestowed, finally, as a result of great sacrifice and endurance, and every moment you and I strive to save our hearts for each other will only strengthen our love when we are finally united.

Some celebrate Singles Awareness Day (or SAD), as opposed to the celebration of loving a partner in Valentine’s Day. I, however, choose to celebrate my devotion to you today. Though so often I fail to remember you in my thoughts and actions, I will do my best to save my heart for you, in hopes that wherever you are today, you are endeavoring to do the same for me. May you be richly blessed this Valentine’s Day!

Your future wife,

Jennifer