Why I am thankful for my father's authority
1. It provides me with a security that I cannot attain myself
I am a young lady. I am feminine, and I possess the womanly charms that lure a man. I am not a man. I do not always have the strength to protect myself; my heart is easily drawn towards things which deceive, and often I do not know when they are drawing me in. I have the strength and endurance that my Lord gives me in times of need, and yet I am a woman, sensitive, and vulnerable when left to myself.
I know all this, and yet often I attempt to resist that fact, and show that I can have complete control of my life and my heart. But I do not. Just as my body longs for the physical and emotional freedoms to be a liberated woman, my heart will always long for and require the security of a man’s arms. Who is this man? What face is it that I envision as I dream of that blanket of security, that source of love; and guidence? I see two faces, one that I know and have always known; the other that is blank, and yet to be filled in. The face that I know is my father. And until I am carefully guided into the arms of another, I will remain under my father’s care and love. This is my security, this is my place, and to take it away would mean to leave me unprotected, open to the large, sinful world that threatens to ruin me.
2. It teaches me to be submissive, and guides me in my future role as a mother
Our culture today is one of domineering women; very few wives show their husbands the proper respect and submissiveness to his plans. I am blessed with having a man for a father, who holds his place as the chief decision maker and guider of the household. This, though feminists scream discrimination, helps me to better rise to my God-given, wonderful role as a future wife and mother through the clear placement of my role as a help-meet to my future husband. While learning to take my father’s advice and counsel, I am preparing to accept counsel from my husband in my own home in the years to come.
3. It allows me to pursue my dreams and leave the husband-searching up to him
Men have a lot of work to live up to their responsibilities. They have to get an education or go into a field of work to insure a job, they have to search for a wife and then make sure that she is the right one, and then they have to care for and maintain a household by providing an income and the training grounds for a disciplined home. Men have to be leaders; not just in their homes, but in the church and society as well. That’s a lot of work for guys to constantly be challenged with leadership in a big, conflicting world.
But when I think of my role as a young single lady, there's a totally different feeling and role. My required education happens during my younger years in the home; doing school, teaching my siblings, and helping to maintain a home. By the time I turn 18, that education should be complete, and I will then be free to pursue God and my talents during the single years. I don’t even have to think once about finding a husband; I am privileged to leave that to my father. Of course a woman’s role is never easy; bearing children and raising them up to be strong in the Lord is a skill only to be learned through years of hard work; but for now, I am free to learn about God, pursue that which I love to do, and leave the worrying about a future husband to my dad. What a load off the mind of a single young lady!
4. I love my father
Feminists love to paint pictures of evil men; tyrants who make women their slaves. If I happened to be under the control and authority of such a man, you would most likely not be reading this! But I am not. My dad is one of the most kind men; sure, he has his moments, just like everybody else. But I can see that he works to be the husband and father that God wants him to be, and for that he has won my admiration, respect, and love. He gives me freedoms, and he also sets boundaries for me; but never in anger. Why should I be discontented by obeying someone I love? If I love my dad and am content under his rule, why should I make myself upset and angry simply because he is a man and I am a girl? As long as my dad continues to counsel and instruct me in love and tenderness, he will never lose my respect for his authority over me.
We women dislike to be told of our faults. We hate to be told we are doing something wrong. To our core, we hate to have someone in control of us. But even as our natures are resisting any authority, our spirits long for it. Who likes to be left all to herself, without help, guidance or a sense of safety? What young lady goes through her life completely confident and satisfied when without counsel or help? Try dumping a sixteen year-old girl in the streets, and see how she does. Despite our protests, anger and cry for equality we are only searching for a role in which we find fulfillment; and that is where the baby boomer generation went wrong. Women abandoned the homes and fought long and hard to grasp a selfishly bought freedom; the freedom to think, live and be totally on our own without guidance. Don’t we all fight for freedom? Don’t we all resist God’s law until He finally breaks down our defenses and penetrates our souls? Face it ladies; you’re a woman, and that’s not about to change. So quit fighting, embrace who you are, and thank your Creator that He has set men over us to protect us.
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36 comments:
What an outstanding post Jennifer! Thank you :D
Jen,
That was SO encouraging!!! its nice to know I'm not the only teenage girl who realizes this!
It's true, feminism has painted a VERY bad picture of male leadership. When really...we desire it.
I know for a fact that if I was put out on the streets right now, I wouldn't know what to do. I WANT my dad's leadership even though sometimes I don't understand all of it. :)
Great post Jen! I concur!
Kp
A wonderful post Jen!! It is my sentiments exactly! Thank you for not being afraid to voice it out to the world. It is such an encouragement to read of others girls like me... in more ways than one! =)
Wow. That is one of the best posts I have ever read about women staying at home under their father's covering! May God richly reward your desire to honor Him by honoring your father!
...and yet I am a female, soft, delicate, and vulnerable when left to myself.
;-D You're probably not as vulnerable as you think.
This is a wonderful post Jennifer, almost... poetic. I really appreciate your honor for your father, it shines out of this post.
But now I'd like to ask you a hard question, a very hard question. What would happen to you if in some tragic incident your father was killed and you had no other man to take his place?
You would be left unprotected in the large cruel world that threatens to ruin you. Do you think you would be able to stand on your own and face it down and not get ruined?
Or were those illustrations mostly 'poetic' or symbolic? I think you're a strong girl and that you can stand up against the moral and spiritual attacks of the world.
David,
Great question! :) First of all, I would have to say that in such a situation, it would be most likeyl that I would find another relative or Church member to take me under his wing, for things such as courtship really require an elderly man to handle. So hopefully I wouldn't left on my own completely.
But it would be a very hard struggle, and as you said, would require great strength on my part to resist the temptations that would threaten to pull me apart. It would be hard, but I agree that God can also grant the wisdom and strength for a young lady to protect her heart and mind.
It's just a whole lot easier to have a father to do those things for me! :)
That should be filed under the 'Best of' Section.
This is totally bizarre - you write about your father the way most young women maturing talk about boyfriends or fiances. It is highly inappropriate for you to be dreaming of your father in bed. and any father who teaches his daughter to be so willingly submissive is frightening.
Notice anon, she didn't say that she was dreaming particularly about her father, she said she was dreaming about manly security which is divided into two things, her future-husband, and she can be content with her father's security now. It's not often that a girl has such a good relationship with her father that she can ENJOY his guidance, protection, and decisions. Thus she deserves only commendation.
Beautiful post, Jennifer.
God bless you!
keep deleting the comments - but i hope you at least think about how improper your idolotry of your father sounds. its no wonder that you and your sister don't have lives outside of the household. it is clear that your parents, particularly your father has manipulated and controlled you to idolize him and not even think about other men. that is disturbing.
Jennifer, that was a beautiful post. Keep up the great writing!
Anonymous,
if what Jennifer has said is idolatry of her father, how much more so was Jesus' attitude towards His Father idolatry?
The Family is a God-invented symbol of the many relationships that occur in the Trinity.
What Jennifer has said is a perfect illustration of how Christ respected and obeyed the will of His Father.
Please be careful with your words.
she should be careful with her words, and her thoughts. it sounds very inappropriate the way she speaks of her love for her father. adn dreaming of him while in bed. she is a maturing young woman and her feelings and hormones should be directed at young men OUTSIDE her family, not her father.
Ok, I didn't think of it that way at all when I read it.
Perhaps you need a cleansing of your mind after swimming in the sewer your entire thinking life.
Anonymous, I think you have it all wrong.
The love and affection that she has for her father is nothing like the love and affection that she will show in the future towards her husband. There is a difference between romantic love and unconditional love. The fact that she is willing to remain under her father's protection and care until someday in the future he allows a young man to woo her is something that is commendable in this sex-crazed generation. She is not dreaming of her father with a romantic love, but rather with the unconditional love that all young people should have for their parents, especially those who are willing to be involved in their children's lives so extensively that they care about anything that may in the future hurt them.
Anonymous, let me get this straight just for the record. From your comments it seems that because she does not throw herself at the young men of this generation, you despise her? To you the fact that she is willing to guard her heart; and even further to let her father guard her heart means that she is one less woman that will allow a young man to take advantage of her either physically or emotionally. Have you taken a look at the "young men," as you put it that are "OUTSIDE her family?" They are extremely willing and eager to take a young woman, especially one who is not experienced in the ways of the world, and drag her along on a whirling rollercoaster of emotions that has a broken track. Sooner or later, after tiring of their "sport", they dump her like a rag doll, looking for another heart to break. That is not love, that is not protection, that is not security, that is not morally right. Her father can protect her from that kind of heartache and pain like no-one else can.
Also, if you don't agree with her decision to remain under her father's protection and authority, don't berate her for it! Instead try and understand everything that she is saying. You are way too eager to destroy her way of life because it does not fit in with your social agenda or your way of thinking/life. It makes me sick to think that someone would be so willing to try and destroy a young woman's feelings that they would openly berate her under the name, Anonymous.
Your opinion is quite welcome, but open belittling is not proper or acceptable in a forum like this. At the least people should have proper respect for others ideas, even if they do not agree with them; if not to be respectful, then merely for the sake of holding a position that can in itself hold respect. To be openly beligerent only loses you the respect and maturity that will be listened to by others.
Anonymos has once again,
(As he has very apt to do)
shown us a wonderful example of something that is beutiful and should be respected,
and taken it out of context to twist it into something that sounds so terribly horrible.
This post was very encouraging. I have the same sentiments as you and Anna Naomi and other girls who comment on here. Thank you for voicing it.
Jennifer, what a beautiful and delightful post. I heartily agree! The Lord has given us such a blessing to remain at home under the care and protection of our dads.
God bless and keep up the good work!
Hannah
Jennifer, I'm new to your blog - coming over via the Tanker Brothers Rolling Victory fast (I'm signed up for Aug 22.)
While I admire the love that you show your father and your contentment with his and the Lord's plan for your life as it stands now, please, please spend some of your 'single years' getting some kind of job skills in the worldly sense. (Maybe you could teach? You certainly have excellent communication skills.)
As David pointed out, you don't know where your life will take you. None of us can see the Lord's plan for us, and that's as it should be. While you are young, you should be able to shelter under a church elder or relative's wing if the worst thing should happen and you were left orphaned.
But look at my life, I was widowed in my 40s with a teen age son still at home and in High School. My late husband's final illness drug out over two years and while his insurance paid those final expenses, there were not funds to provide for me for the rest of MY life. My own father was a very wise man, and he told me that I should ALWAYS be able to provide both a home and an income for myself and my children. That is a big part of being an adult; whether you are male or female - you must be able to take care of your children.
My own father had passed away over 5 years before, and I have no living brothers or other close male kin. My mother, my mother-in-law, my sister and myself all are widowed or single (in my sister's case) and must provide for ourselves or find ourselves destitute.
When you are a child, it is right for you to be able to depend on your parents. I still had to be a strong parent for my son, and I did not want to limit his future by my needs. He is now a US Marine and worries enough about how I will cope when he deploys in a few months. At least he doesn't need to worry about me financially.
If you are wise in your choices and lucky in your husband, you can lean on him for many things. Walt was a police officer for 19 years and my rock, but when he fell ill, I was the foundation of HIS strength and comfort. It was a hard thing and I honestly questioned the Lord many times those last years and the years of widowhood since. But I never had to worry about keeping a roof over our heads or food on our table. I feel that I was led to have the business skills that I have for just that reason.
Something to think about when you think about your future: I think that we should live spiritually and emotionally as if we know we would die tomorrow - always prepared and leaving no unresolved anger behind us - but in stewardship (both financially and environmentally) as we should live if we will have to exist upon this earth forever.
Karla,
Thank you so much for your nice comment and advice. I am hoping to study dance and possibly teach it during my single years which will provide me with an income, should anything happen to my future husband.
I am sorry to hear about your situation... it must be very hard for you to be a single parent! After hearing that your son will be deploying soon, I was wondering if my family and I could provide support for you and your son; maybe you could e-mail me at
thepatriot@surfbest.net
and let me know if there's anything I can do for you. At the least I know my family would love to write to your son while he is deployed. Anyway, let me know. God bless!
Jennifer, your comment "Our culture today is one of domineering women" made me think of a lot of current TV shows, especially sitcoms.
Most of the time the wife/mother is portrayed as an annoying, nagging, screeching harpie.
The husband/father fares even worse. He is portrayed as an incompetent, childish, selfish, slovenly dimwit who only cares about booze, sex, and sports. He has no idea how to raise his kids and is irresponsible with finances.
Thanks a lot Hollywood! Hmmm...who is it who runs Hollywood again? Thought so...
who does run Hollywood?
the scientologists?
See, this is why the "it's my choice to be a submissive woman and hate feminists for all they have done for us" argument is flawed. It allows this kind of... "thinking" to be "ok" as long as its her "choice". Did you notice the language? Man vs girl, "feminists screaming," ~domineering~ women, the glorification of the masculine and oh-so-subtle derision of the feminine as less worthy/more in need of male control? It's SOO an example of a Marxist co-opt of gender (a section of the oppressed group siding with the oppressors for the seeming benefits). It's like girls who say "oh, I prefer boys to girls: girls are so shallow and catty. Not like boys. I'm not like that, I'm not a girl." God, this is FASCINATING from a feminist perspective!
And I am sure they are wonderful people - kind and happy and all that. But I wouldnt be, and not all male-dominated families are like hers. Not all men are tyrants, but neither are they all good and Godly, up to the responsibility of living up to her expectations. I love my father as much as she does (no doubt in my mind. None.), and that fact, in many ways, is why I am a feminist.
People are flawed - some more than others. Feminism, to me, is about the right to be self sufficient, to be able to take care of yourself if needs be (either through just being single, being divorced or a widow or whatever). Its not about being "alone without guidance," but rather that your opinion in your own life holds the most sway. Everyone, men and women, should have the rights and abilities and opportunities to be able to take care of themselves, and feminism works to create a world where that works. Shouldnt that be the ideal of any father, for any child? To set up their children to be able to find love and relationships based on their own merit, not on their need to be take care of?
The world at present is not set up for a woman to be self-sufficient by default - hence the "16 year old on the street (and what does she think a 16 year old boy would do better? Steal or prostitute himself with a more independent spirit?). So if she wants to be done educating herself at 18, and pursue her dreams while waiting for ~~her father~~ to find her a husband, I guess some people are happy with low ambitions and their religion to give them satisfaction. But not everyone, and arguing that your religion and your way of life are the only ones that are "right" - "If I love my dad and am content under his rule, why should I make myself upset and angry simply because he is a man and I am a girl?" - ignores the fact that not all people are like you and dont have your situation. If it works for you, fine, but dont tell the rest of us to "quit fighting, embrace who you are, and thank your Creator that He has set men over us to protect us."
It sounds to me, in complete honesty, that her gut is telling her that this is not right. She talks about her desire for independence, women's nature as being resistant to authority, her longing for the freedoms of a liberated woman, the fight for "the freedom to think, live and be totally on our own". But her "heart" and mind (read "training") tell her that that isnt right, that that is not what ~God~ wants for her life. God wants her to submit, not to God Himself, but to her husband as a representative of God (read: some men want to be god-like). And to do it with a smile on her face, mind you. Quit fighting and embrace your oppression! We do this because we love power, er, you!
I personally want a partner in crime, not a demi-god to tell me what to do. And I want to be able to take care of myself, with "the freedom to think, live and be totally on ~my~ own" with my family's love and support until I find such a creature. And that is reason enough for feminism.
1 She is not glorifying men and she does not think men should be god-like, and obviously she should submit to God before man.
2 She is not saying women should not be self sufficient, nor does she have low ambitions.
3 Believe it or not, she actually is not oppressed.
4 Yes, we do think our religion is only right way.
You’re the one who is upset because someone has a different opinion than you and she is exercising her American right of freedom of speech. Your comment clearly shows that you don’t understand what she’s saying in her post. And why should we listen to you, a extremely rude, insulting, unknown person who won’t even show her name online? No thanks, I’d rather listen to my Dad.
this post is disturbing
"Most of the time the wife/mother is portrayed as an annoying, nagging, screeching harpie.
The husband/father fares even worse. He is portrayed as an incompetent, childish, selfish, slovenly dimwit who only cares about booze, sex, and sports. He has no idea how to raise his kids and is irresponsible with finances."
What kind of shows do you watch?! I have never seen anything so horrendously exagerrated on television.
I respect your right to choose, I really do, but it shows a lot of ignorance not only of the feminist movement but of the world to try and generalize that to say that EVERYBODY should be like you.
I love my father, I respect men, but I respect men as equals, not as miniature versions of god to worship and follow their every whim. I don't see myself as being above men and I don't see myself as being some sort of tyrant around other people, I simply believe that I am fully capable, with the brains that God gave me, to be able to make my own decisions and protect myself when no one else can. This doesn't mean that I'm going to immediately reject the suggestions of men, it just means that I will be on equal ground in which we can both come to a good decision, which I think works a lot better in marriage than allowing your husband to make all your decisions for you, especially if they're bad ones since men, no matter what you may believe, are not infallible.
Regardless of what anonymous says, your post was both thoughtful and Biblical.
Jen,
God has blessed us so wonderfully to have such wonderful fathers. It is so encouraging to her some many young ladies take the stand that we have taken.
I will be praying for you.
Love your sister in Christ,
Ros
I found this post after a Google search on a father's authority over his daughter. You see, what you have, Jen, in your father, I've never had. I do have a dad, but we have never had a close relationship. I have always tried my hardest to please him, and do whatever I needed to to make him happy, but my best never really was good enough.
I am 20 now and in college, and had a wonderful Christian boyfriend (my first) for two years. He went to my dad to ask permission to date me, & a year and a half later went to him to ask for permission to marry me. My dad at first would not give him an answer because he said we all (my boyfriend and I, and my dad and my mom) had to sit down and talk about it together. So we all did, and my parents gave their blessing on our engagement -- but with conditions. I had to finish college first, before we were to marry. Their reasoning for this was because they felt I needed to be on my own first, and needed to learn to take care of and provide for myself. I had been homeschooled and "sheltered" by them growing up, so college was the place for me to spread my wings and experience life for myself. That, and they did not think I would finish school were I to marry "young," (but older than my mother was when she married, mind you.)
I had already finished one year of college (which my parents paid for), and my boyfriend had also attended the same University. Half way through the second semester, however, he enlisted in the Air Force, and at the time of our conversation with my parents was preparing to leave for basic training. My parents were not going to pay for any more of my college education; not because they couldn't afford it, but because they felt I needed to work for it myself so that I would appreciate it. My boyfriend did not like this, and since he was not going to be around @ school to take care of me, and did not want me working so much to support myself and pay for my school was why he wanted to get married. Not to mention, we had known each other as kids & had already dated seriously for one and a half years. We really did not see the need for me to have to take care of myself if he (my boyfriend/fiance) was willing & able to care and provide for me, and we knew that we loved each other and wanted to get married. Another three years of a long distance relationship (since he had joined the military) did not seem to us very beneficial, just because that was what my parents wanted. My goal in life (which I believe to be completely scriptural) was to be a helpmeet for my husband, & learning to be independent (in the manner that my parents wanted me to learn) was not going to get my any closer to that goal.
But, he had to leave for bootcamp, and I spent my summer working between 50 and 60 hours a week so that I wouldn't need as many loans to pay for the next semester. By the end of the summer my then-fiance was finished with training, and I was finally able to visit him again after several months. We found out that he was going to be able to come home this Christmas, and that if we were going to get married any time before I was done with school, over Christmas leave would be the time to do it because I was at a place in my schoolwork where I could transfer, and he was going to be in one spot for awhile. Our only other option would be to marry right before his deployment that he'll have around April '08, and my fiance did not want to do that. Two weeks as a married couple before he would be gone for a year was not the way he wanted it, and so would have wanted to wait until after he got back.
We explained all of this to my parents, but naturally my fiance being gone until summer 2009 was the perfect opportunity for me to "mature" without him, and a wedding after he came home again was what they wanted. I was very torn during this time between being with the man I loved and knew would take care of me, and obeying my parents in something that I did not believe was founded in Scripture. My choice came down to was I under my father's authority or not? I was 20, I was providing for myself under my father's stipulation, & I was not living at home. Was I therefore my own authority, or since I was not married was I still under my father?
I don't know if my choice was the right one, because it has caused a lot of heartache and grief, but I decided that since Dad was not going to play his role as my father, then I was not going to play my role as the submissive daughter, and was going to find shelter elsewhere. My dad never was my leader spiritually or emotionally, and once he cut off physically, I did not see any reason to stick around. Especially when I knew what he wanted me to become (i.e. an independent and strong woman, not needing anyone) when I only wanted this as a last resort, were to worst to come to worst and I had no where else to turn.
Our wedding ceremony is still this December 30th, but since making that decision the relationships that I did have with my family have gone from bad to worse, slim to non-existent. They hate my fiance because they say he has manipulated me into marrying him, and we are in sin because I stepped out from under my dad's authority. My dad is not coming to the wedding because since I left, he sees no need to give me away, and that my fiance and I are just impatient -- We asked for his permission, he gave us his terms, we did not like them, and now we're doing it our way anyway. Therefore, sin, in their opinion.
I really don't know what I think, but I do know that if we were the ones in the wrong, then my fiance and I need to apologize and do whatever we can to make things right. Last night I had the first conversation in months in which my dad did not yell at me. Whether that was because he is sick, or because he honestly was trying to communicate for once, I don't know. But regardless, it pinpointed this issue that he believe I stepped out on my own, whereas I felt like I had been left out on my own to fend for myself.
I am sorry this post is so long, but I'd like to know what someone who has the same values (even if I don't have your ideal situation), thinks.
Fair Maiden,
Wow; thank you for sharing your story. I would love to continue this discussion but maybe we could do it over email? If you'd like you can email me at thepatriot@surfbest.net
God bless!
Jennifer
(As a note, that was me; thepatriot15 that posted that. My sister's username showed up instead. Argh! :)
Hello, Jennifer!
To introduce my anonymous self, I will tell you that I am female, have been home schooled my entire life (I’m not yet done school), and love Jesus very, very much.
I am posting because the subject of your post (women’s role as homemaker/man’s authority over her) is one that bothered me very much when I was younger, when I was maybe fourteen or fifteen. You see, I had come across this old classic book on the subject of “proper women’s education” and began to read it. I admit that I didn’t get much further than a few pages before I placed it back on the shelf with a sick, heavy feeling in my stomach and a burning face. The reason? The book was telling me that, as a female, my mind was not as developed as a man’s, and that I should learn to proper womanly skills so that I would make a fine wife for my future husband, who would be my master and protector.
I promptly asked my mother why we had such a terrible, unscientific, book in our house. She told me that it was one of the recommended books she had purchased at a home schooling sale, and that it was supposed to be Biblical.
Biblical? Hmm…I wasn’t so sure if the book was something Jesus would like at all. He should know all about our brains, seeing as he made them, and would know that man’s and woman’s brains are equally intelligent. So I kept thinking about all this.
Then, a few days later, I came across those Bible verses that start, "The man is the head of the woman..." and "Do not allow a woman to speak in church, she must be quiet and sit at the back..." or something like that. Those upset me VERY much
I went to Jesus right away, and I cried and cried. I told him I DID NOT like the verses I had just read, and I told him why, how they made me feel like I was not worth so much just because I was a woman. I asked him to tell me the TRUTH about those verses. Right away he gave me peace in my heart, and I felt like he was telling me, "You sense there is something wrong here. You sense that the way you see these verses is not right. That's good you sense this. Wait. I'll explain it to you soon."
So, I waited. And the explanation came in book form. The book is called, "Why Not Women: A Biblical Study of Women in Missions, Ministry, and Leadership" by Loren Cunningham and David Joel Hamilton. It was VERY enlightening. It reminded me that the holy scriptures are very blessed, but we must be careful that we do not get the wrong idea from the way they are translated. Humans do make many mistakes! Also, the book helped me to feel that being a woman is special, and that God created woman very wonderfully, with much beauty and grace. I also think, she has a special strength of her own.
I highly recommend you read the book. I know you already have strong views on the subject, and might disagree with the authors in places, but if you read it all through with an open mind you might also learn something new. It is a very good read.
I wish you all the best!
Anonymous
P.S. I am very curious… You say your Father will pick out a husband for you? What does this mean? Will you meet your husband only after your Father selects him? And what if you shouldn’t like him?
Hello Jen. Beautiful post. Thank you for it. Mr. Swab.
"I love my father, I respect men, but I respect men as equals, not as miniature versions of god to worship and follow their every whim. I don't see myself as being above men and I don't see myself as being some sort of tyrant around other people, I simply believe that I am fully capable, with the brains that God gave me, to be able to make my own decisions and protect myself when no one else can. This doesn't mean that I'm going to immediately reject the suggestions of men, it just means that I will be on equal ground in which we can both come to a good decision, which I think works a lot better in marriage than allowing your husband to make all your decisions for you, especially if they're bad ones since men, no matter what you may believe, are not infallible."
I agree with the above statement. Even though I am a Christian and a Homeschooler, I have always been taught that I am equal (not better or worse) than men. My parents have told my sisters and I that we are free to date, marry, and raise loving Godly families with the man that we choose.
I will attend college and, sooner or later, set off in the big, wide, world to find a job and a home and a husband. I will do this on my own, but I will always respect my parents' counsel and seek it out when I feel that it is needed.
I believe that this is the way for me to go, as my parents, grandparents, friend's parents and so many others have found happy, fulfilling, and Godly marriages this way.
I respect your views, and am sure that you will have a successful and holy life, but where exactly do they come from in the Bible? I am legitimately curious, and not trying to be rude!
I am a father of daughters. I have always found two heads to be better than one. We should always seek wise counsel when making tough decisions.
Personally I would trust my impressions about men more than a young daughters. Just as I would trust my wifes impression of a young lady more than I would my own.
When making decisions someone has to make the final decision after all counsel is weighted. This has nothing to do with not being equal. It is simply the way authority works.
If a young lady chooses not to seek the counsel of her father than she is taking a big responsiblity upon herself.
Personally I find the counsel of others to be beneficial. A wise person will look to others for counsel. My daughters can marry who they choose, but should my own daughters choose to make these decisions without my counsel, I will not consent after the fact.
I will not voluntarily give my daughter to a violent man, for example. This is something that most men understand very well.
We have raised them. We would have done a better job if we were able. But I love them and I would gladly lay down my life to protect them. I can not imagine a stranger caring as much about them as their mother and I.
Yes, we can all do as we will, but this position comes with consequences.
In response to LiberalHomeschool...you might want to read 1 Timothy. That book in the Bible talks a lot about things that Jen talks about.
It's been helpful to read the comments, as well as Jen's post. This is a subject that has worried me, because I know the Bible says strong things about the role of women, i.e. "Eve was deceived first...women should not teach over men." Often I'm not sure I even want to accept what the Bible says! But it's been encouraging to hear the honest, intelligent words of young women who are dedicated to following God, and want other people to understand how they decide to obey his Word.
It helps me see what a blessing it must be to accept the leadership of your dad, as respecting the role of men in the church! When I read what Mr. H said, I saw a new side of the issue...from a dad's side. A lot of times I assume my dad is just being overprotective, when really he wants to take care of me because he loves me.
Also, it dawned on me that 1 Timothy is not belittling women...it's speaking very bluntly about that fact that unmarried girls can get themselves in a lot of trouble. This may not be because they are dumb...it might be because ungodly men can easily lead them astray, perhaps because girls are emotional and the ungodly men use that. If you read a little farther in the chapter, you realize that Paul is responding to a problem of young widows who were led astray by false teachers.
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