Working women: shaking the foundation
In our modern day America, mainly over the past 50 years, the traditional roles of men and women have been drastically switched or distorted. Men are no longer viewed as the primary leaders and do not take work and leadership as seriously. Women are no longer just the homemakers, but more than often set a competition against men in the areas of work and employment.
I have nothing against young women working and being educated in a job to insure an income while single, and also the ability to work should anything happen to her husband. But when she feels such an obligation and love for her job that she would forsake even the idea of (heaven forbid!) having children and caring for them, this is where America’s foundations begin to weaken. It all starts in the home; from the moment of birth (providing someone was actually born!), an individual’s primary training, nurture and growth happens in the home.
When we encourage women to compete against the men (let’s show those guys we can work just as well as they can!), we allow them to foster disgusted, distant ideas towards mothering children and maintaining a home. If all women were so dedicated to their job that children would become such a menace, well, there would be no children, and thus no country. And if all women were so dedicated to their job that any children accepted would be cared for day after day at a 
daycare center, then there would be very poor and weak future leadership in this country.
Max Haine in his book “Children: Blessing or burden?” summed it up pretty well when taking a look at a women’s most natural lifelong role:
“Those whose most innate sense of identity is bound up with fertility were encouraged to abandon, delay or at least severely limit childbearing. They were asked to deny their deepest biological and psychological urges toward maternity for the sake of a paycheck. They were told to rejoice at “liberation” from the home, which their ancestors gained deep satisfaction in maintaining. In other words, they were supposed to squash every feminine impulse that pulsated for expression.” (Italics added)
I’m not a feminist, and I’m not a sheltered, conforming future baby machine. I am a young lady who has witnessed the blessings and fulfillment of bringing up the future generations, and maintaining their home. So what are my future plans? I have nothing against women getting jobs outside the home. I have one right now, and I plan to work as long as I am single. But when God brings around the right guy at the right time, I will be ready to give up my job and carry out what I was meant to be: a homemaker.
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16 comments:
Dear Jen,
I have been a reader for some time. All home schoolers of my acquaintance seem to have their heads screwed on tight, like you.
You should fill tanks with that Nebraska air, and secretly release it in places like Harvard, and Madison, WI.
Cheers, and God bless,
Bill Smith
I honestly think that it is a sad state of affairs when a woman cannot stay at home and take care of their families. It is good when you see people actually can understand this. Children are so much different without mom being with them 100% of the time throughout childhood. I guess this is what america is coming to unfortuantly.
i hope that you have several years more before you even think of having children!
sure, you are legally an adult at 18, but that's still way too young for something that permanent, as having little ones that depend on you...
you do have a good head on your shoulders, and that is what this country needs first, before you get tied down with kids.
make your mark on this fair nation, make it better, then have children that can enjoy the nation that we all want to be in.
30 years from now, i hope to see you as President of the U.S.A. (or Former Pres..lol), or if not, at the very least, that men could imagine the idea of a woman president, and work harder to be better housemakers...lol.
whether or not it all happens....im on you side!
Dude...
2 anon comments that were respectful.
And I was getting up in arms when I say the names.
Good post
Very flattering comment, moehawk; but I think I'll be busy enough managing a home of my own! :) (There are plenty of other teen bloggers, though, that would fit the job much better... visit my blogroll!)
Yes, I'm am very thankful every time you guys leave an encouraging note for me! Very nice to have in my comment sections.
that's so ambitious of you.
many working women and professionals are able to have happy homes and raise wonderful children. i think you are little to critical of people you don't really know.
There you go Palm Boy!
Anon.- It's all working women in general who are greatly hurting our society. It's extremely difficult to balance a home and work at the same time. I should know; both my parents are currently working. Since my mom starting managing our business, my littlest brother has really struggled with attention issues and is constantly coming up with ways to demand it from her when she is home.
This is just one instance where children are hurt with mom gone. Even though my sister Emily and I know quite a bit about childcare and homemaking, it's just not the same as having mom home.
For some it's necessary that mom work's to bring in another source of income. But for many in America, it's an issue of comfort. Not enough money for a new car, a larger TV screen, or more nights eating out. I say, family is more important, and our society is being wounded as mothers go out and work needlessly for an income they could do without.
Wonderful post! You strike a balance many in the conservative Christian circles seem to have difficulty doing. Working/higher education are not contrary to godly womanhood, and in fact can be a great help to the woman who chooses to educate her children at home. Her experience and education can make their learning experiences so much richer!
God bless!
"working women" are "hurting families?"
many women, especially educated, intellegent, talented, ambitious women CHOOSE to work outside of the home so they can have a successful life. I have known many families with working mothers who raise successful, highly intelligent and capable young children. And there are not necessarily negative affects just because a mother works. There is nothing wrong with sharing responsibilities, sharing family work, sharing income in this day and age. you have one example, but there are many others where women and men balance working families just fine.
If anything, I think it teaches children both men and women that there is an equality of the sexes in this country and you can choose any path you wish with your life. I, for one, am very proud to have had a hard working successful mother who taught me the value of hard work and striving to do something with my life.
I think you should be proud of your mother for her work ethic.
Of course there are exceptions. You must realize that I am speaking about the majority of mothers who work. Yes, I am sure some women are strong in balancing a home and a job at the same time: but for most women, it's a difficult thing to do and I believe the majority of working mothers have to pick one or the other.
"many women, especially educated, intellegent, talented, ambitious women CHOOSE to work outside of the home"
Many intelligent and educated women also choose to raise a family, and be devoted to them. You obviously have little respect for motherhood in that you regard a job as more important than being a homemaker.
"equality of the sexes"? Yes, there definitely is that in the U.S. It causes women to feel obligated to pursue manly things such as running for a position of leadership or working all of their lives. All were created equal in the sight of God, and yet He created women to fulfill the most important role on earth: to bear children! Without us, human life on earth would not continue. And yet many financially wealthy women continue to resist the call of motherhood, and America is suffering because of it.
If a family does not need another income, a women does not need to work. Even if her kids are older or in school, she can work just as well from home; doing jobs online and serving people in her community. A woman's place has always been the home, and though many try to place their satisfaction elsewhere, the home is where it will remain.
Are you trying to suggest that one must leave home to truly work hard and set a good example for children? Excuse me, but raising children and maintaining a home is more than hard work. It is an art to be mastered only by time and diligence. And wouldn't you say that it's much easier to set an example for a child when he can actually be around you? Every day I see just how much of an example I am to my brothers by what I say and do... how I act and dress. They would never imitate me so well if I were constantly gone working out of the home.
As to my mother working, she does not enjoy it half as much as when she could be home hugging and training her little boys. Our plan after starting this business was to bring in enough money from it for my dad to quit his job and take it over full time. Our clientele is still rather small, however, and my mother has continued to work more than she would like to. It has not helped my brothers at all to be without their mother during the day, and without Emily and myself I know that they would struggle greatly.
American women need to know that it's okay to stay home and be a mother. There is more satisfaction and honor for a women to be the keeper of the home, and it's really sad to see so many women detest the idea of carrying out our God-given role.
Jennifer
P.S. I'm assuming you are a woman, anon. are you working?
It is a personal choice. Women in America today have many opportunities and do not feel "forced" into staying home and having a family.
It is simply an issue of choice. Certainly, if women feel that they are more interested in staying home and raising children, then this shoudl be their role.
" A woman's place has always been the home, and though many try to place their satisfaction elsewhere, the home is where it will remain. " This is vast generalization that is untrue in my experience. I have attended college, grad school, and now live and work in New York City - where I see women happy in their careers in education, publishing, law, medicine, and technology. Most young women i know are very satisfied - those that have families and those that do not. They take pleasure in their work, and achieve success in their office and in their professional organizations. I have numerous, numerous examples of women I encounter every single day.
I think your generalization is rather naive. Once you attend college and encounter all of the opportunities available to you, I think you'll find yourself interestedin pursuing options outside of the home. You shouldn't close yourself off to this. There is nothing wrong with being a working woman, then later returning home to raise a family. or, finding a way to work from home and raise a family at the same time. ifyou meet the right man - this is always an option.
There is nothing wrong with striving to raise a family - but you should foreclose opportunities that you are presented with.
Great post. You make your point well. Some people have elevated the working woman above the mother, as though motherhood were inferior to being a career woman. I really liked your sentence at the end, where you say you aren't a feminist, and you aren't sheltered. I feel the same way, I plan to work until I have a family, and then depending on the time obligations, I may cut back on work or quit entirely.
Geez Jennifer you ought to a debater I love the way you debate your opinions against others and that you really know what you are talking about
~ Amanda B.~
I must agree. In my opinion if a woman is married and has kids, she should stay home and care for them as long as it is financially possible. Many women feel that because other mothers go to work and leave their children with a babysitter or at school every day that they should. In my opinion that is why so many kids are so rebelious and disrespectful. If every mom would think and pray about it, I believe that many would see that they could do it. My mother has raised my and my eleven brothers and sisters, and stayed at home to do it. I'm sure it was hard, not only on her, but also on Dad, but they did it for us, and I'm glad they did. Thank God for women that are willing to take care of their own kids
VERY naive.
I have nothing against mothers who stay at home and I have nothing against women who have children, but why should a woman have children when she doesn't want them? How good is that for the child to be raised by a mother who doesn't want them in the first place? Speaking of obligations, if a woman feels obligated to have children and raise them, it's not much different from feeling obligated to pursue a career.
And when I think about it, I can't think of any woman who, without facing financial ruin, has felt as if they MUST work outside the home. Have you ever talked to these women that you write about? I agree with a lot of the other comments I've seen about people calling you sheltered--you don't seem to have any personal experience with any of these subjects that you claim to know.
If God is all powerful, then why would he ever have given women the capability to work outside the home or to be equal to men? Of course, there are things that women can't do and men can and vice versa, but working and raising children aren't examples of that. I had a teacher that I know fairly well who quit his job in order to take care of his children, letting his wife work at her job since she made more money. The last time I talked to him, his kids were doing great. When the roles are reversed, women are just as capable of working as men, and men are just as capable of homemaking as women.
Leader of the Christian Party at Finland is a working mother (also a medical doctor). Her husband (a pastor, Th.D.) chose willingly stay at home with their five children, he actually proposed it to her. And they are more devoted christians than average Lutherans here.
I think it is a cultural thing. We are a small nation and living here is expensive. Recent study tells that food price here is twice as expensive than it is in US. Second income is usually more than welcome because salaries are also quite low comparing to - for example - US salaries. Men staying at home with children isn't a feminist issue here, they are not forced nor pushed or even expected to do that, it is a matter of their will. It is not seen as a feministic thing here either. Goverment pays allowance for maternity leave, parental leave (for mother/father) and paternity leave.
I have quite mixed feelings when it comes to these so-called Mummy Wars. We have a saying here which roughly translates: "debaters don't argue, only subjects" meaning that we should and need to discuss about opinions but they shouldn't make a insuperable matter between two people. I can try to understand different point of views even if I don't agree with them. And I can't evaluate anyone's godliness according to their choises, they must be sometimes hard and probably well considered.
I had a normal Finnish childhood. My mother was at home till my younger brother started school when he was 7yo. Finnish public school is many ways different than public schools in US and homeschooling is very rare here. Religion is taught at schools because of our state religion (Lutheranism and Orthodox) and schools are usually small. Me and my brothers went to a little village school and in my school time there were some 50 pupils altogether in school grades 1-6. I had happy, stable, (lower) middle-class childhood. Maybe I would see working mother/stay at home mother -situation differently if I had lived in another culture.
I keep on reading about this subject. Your posts have been very thought-provoking :)
- mirka
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