Daddy...
I love you so much! Through all my short fifteen years you have been such a wonderful father. Thank you for being the provider, encourager, and leader in my life. Thank you for standing by in the times when I needed correction, guidance, or manly affection. You have enabled me to grow into a maidservant of Christ through your constant presence in my life; I can never thank you enough for making sure that the only man that holds me until I am married is you.
And thank you, most of all, for being willing to stand out differently among our society for the sake of your children. We can never thank you enough for all that you do to protect us from the hate in this world; and yet I know that your loving training here at home will benefit us greatly when we are confronted with society.
I know that being the leader and provider at home cannot always be easy, and I appreciate greatly your patience with us here at home. Truly the best thing a father can do is set clear rules for his household, and though we may not always take to them right away, we truly appreciate your hand and rule in our lives, and could ask for nothing better than for the security of a well-managed home.
Thank you for being a man who is not afraid to go to church, and be challenged to take on great plans for the Lord.
I have been so blessed to watch you get excited about new business projects, take the time to enjoy your family, and work hard to insure that our family is one that follows the Lord. Your strong, guiding hand in my life is one I will never be able to thank God enough for.
You are my hero for trying hard things, and for leading our family. God could not have given me a more caring father! I love you so much.
Happy birthday!
Jen
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34 comments:
What a sweet post about your daddy Jen! We are so blessed to have such godly parents!
Such a sweet and loving post Jen! I'd have to agree with the above commentor, Anna Naomi, that we are truely blessed to have Godly parents!
"manly affection" - what does that mean? It sounds inappropriate.
Every girl longs to be physically loved (getting hugs, holding hands, just knowing he appreciates your femininity)and protected. There is nothing inappropriate in kissing, hugging, or holding hands with a wonderful, Godly father who only wants to protect me.
That is so sweet to say that about your dad.
My dad is the same way, and I just love him! Yes, we are blessed, indeed!
"kissing, hugging, or holding hands"
Wow, that sounds really inappropriate to be doing with your father.
Grow up.
I've got to ditto you Thomas.
Anon. Let me ask you, would you do with your boyfriend what you wouldn't do with your father? Why? Does kissing, hugging, or holding hands always connotate romance? No, in fact.
In our home, we all hug eachother, at least once at worship every morning and evening... so my sisters get hugged by their brothers, is that out of line in your home Jen?
I'm not sure where you are on this, but I remember one time when I went to shake a girl's hand when our family was leaving (I always make the rounds and shake hands) and she wouldn't. *shrugs* A little embarrasing, but a little too far IMO. She actually discovered later that she was allowed to. :D
That last paragraph was to Jen.
Oh... and I have to say, this daddy post was simply great. Two thumbs up.
Umm, yes, i would do with my boyfriend things that i WOULD NOT do with my father. No question. I would kiss my boyfriend and hold hands with my boyfriend, but if I am a 15 year old girl, I am far less likely to kiss and hold hands with my father. it is inappropriate. in many states, it is considered illegal. i'm not sure about Nebraska. as a woman grows up she should experience human interaction, and male and female relationships outside the home, especially after her body is developing into a woman and she has hormones.
hugging is one thing, but the added affection of a father to his daughter is dangerous and inappropriate in many ways.
Anonymous:
Hmmm. I can understand your point of view.. but the way Jennifer was talking about "kissing, hugging and holding hands" isn't wrong. We aren't doing those things in a (pardon the expression) sexual way but more in a friendly, affection way to show our love and respect for our father.
When I kiss my father on the cheek or forehead, I don't think it's inappropriate; I do it for the same reason I would kiss my brothers or sisters(in the same places!), to show my love for them.
I realize that not everyone has the same standards and probably at least a few people will think that the standards Jennifer and others (including me!) are just plain wrong. However, that doesn't really bother me, because if I even tried to believe what everyone elsed believed I'd be in a rather tight spot.
Blessings,
Lena
David;
"my sisters get hugged by their brothers, is that out of line in your home Jen?"
Out of line? My four little brothers get hugged and kissed whether they like it or not! Anon.; you know how cute little boys can be. Have you ever had the urge to just give them a hug because they're just too adorable?
Come on; don't tell me you haven't ever kissed or hugged a little kid before!
Personally, I would much rather give my dad or brothers an innocent peck on the cheeck than smack a boyfriend on the lips.
But that's just me...
P.S. Kissing and hugging my own father is, in fact, legal in Nebraska.
inappropriate sexual contact including fondling, and carressing a child is, in fact, illegal in all 50 states. no matter how much the child likes it. it is the adult who is acting inappropriately.
Anonymous: So, a mother has no right then to kiss her baby boy or girl?
In my opinion, the goverment has absolutely no right at all to tell us whether or not we can give somebody a harmless kiss or hug or not. The goverment does *not* exist to run family's life.
And personally, I think you are purposely misunderstanding the situation here(please forgive me if you aren’t), anyone can see by just reading this that Jennifer’s father is not displaying inappropriate gestures of any kind. If he was, do you really think that she would write about it?
Blessings,
Lena
No, i don't think she would write about it. NOR, do I think she would even realize it. NOR, would she have anyone to even tell if she thought it might be inappropriate because she just assumes that all fathers hug, kiss, carees, and hold hands with their teenage womanly daughters. There is a limit to appropriate affection between a father and his daughter, but i doubt that Jennifer has anythign to even compare it to. So if there is fondling or caressing that is inappropriate, she wouldn't even know the difference.
Alrighty Anon. You've asked for it, you'll get it. The whole artillery.
inappropriate sexual contact including fondling, and carressing a child is, in fact, illegal in all 50 states. no matter how much the child likes it. it is the adult who is acting inappropriately.
When the Lawmakers make Laws the import of the wording is extremely, extremely important. That is why there are two adjectives in there. It's 'sexual' and 'inappropriate'. Any father who handles his children in such a manner is transgressing two laws, the law of the land, and the law of God.
Jen's father, my father, and the father of every young man and woman that are here (excluding you, because I have no idea about you) do not handle their children in a way that is chargeable in a court of law according to this section. (you may go read the appropriate section of the offical law)
You apparently, either have had some very bad experiences in your own family, or in others you have personally and firsthandedly seen.
You can tell from my last name that I'm not all Englishman (only half), and let me inform you on the cultural principles of others, other than your own.
The Slavics, Portugese, Spanish, etc. have a much different cultural understanding of physical contact. If you're a girl or woman, and you're even remotely family, you will be hugged and kissed on your forehead, left cheek, and right cheek, by most of the men. It is a cultural practice of respect, it is not considered sexual, romantic, or in any way offensive. (note, our family does not practice this) Also, in these cultures, men hug and kiss eachother. This is all something that is very odd to most Americans, but when it's something that is part of culture, it's perfectly acceptable, and if it does not transgress the law in being 'sexual', the government is required to respect it, and will be held responsible to do so.
We mostly are not Slavic, and my family is quite balanced out on this issue. Everybody here has different understanding and feeling on this in their own family, (minor or major) But nevertheless consider the culture of others, it's called somebody-other-than-you, mhm?
Maybe, you've come from an entirely different point of view on this topic. Maybe your family never touched eachother, maybe your father never hugged or kissed you, maybe you've come from a detached and broken family -- I'm not assuming it, but nevertheless your bitterness leaves us all wondering.
I know that Jen's father does not have any wrong intentions in what he does, therefore there is nothing wrong in it. I challenge you to show us that Jen's father is transgressing the law and being sexual towards her by what you have seen and heard and understood from this discussion.... by doing only what is natural for a father to do, that is mainly: to show affection to his children, in word, in deed, and in understanding.
Let me define:
Kissing: is not a romantic smooch in this discussion. It is in fact an affectionate kiss in an appropriate place.
Hugging: is not a sexual fondling of the body. Rather a demonstration of affection through a holding and squeezing of the arms around an individual.
Holding Hands: is holding hands and there is nothing inappropriate, and cannot be prosecuted other than through proof of sexual intentions.
We, meaning all of us present in this discussion excluding yourself (because I know nothing of you) are vindicated of all accusations. We are children of God, living in all purity with our families, parents, siblings, and each other.
May I suggest that you are fully aware that it would be a shame for you to sign your name, because you are fully aware of what I have said, but have chosen to speak with a filthy mind.
Also, you answered my question satisfactorily, but however, may I suggest that your answer is not wise. I refrain from extending this response to cover that topic.
I part in Peace, if you have any more questions, statements, or accusations, post them here, and until Jenny closes this discussion I'll be willing to do combat. DO NOT REPEAT what you have said again. (almost every one of your comments says the same thing)
>>> Added since I saw your last comment <<<
Any girl, is fully aware when a father has sexual intentions. Most fathers do hug, kiss, and hold hands with their daughters at one time or another. This is not unusal behavior. And she is not an isolated individual either. You are one against a dozen here, all of our fathers are more or less the same, we are from differen parts of the world, every one of our fathers is normal. You are a pretty low individual to assume otherwise.
Step back and use your intelligence. And sign your name if you have an ounce of respect to it.
Let me fix my shoulder strap before you contend to do battle with it.
Any girl, is fully aware when a father has sexual intentions.
Any girl here. If you contend. Prove me otherwise.
Read this and note that God destroyed the world for it: Gen 6:5 And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
I above was quoting this:
Any girl, is fully aware when a father has sexual intentions.
It for some reason did not display the quote.
well according to anonymous..in my family I guess I would be considered a hoe bag(pardon my language). I will just name off a few things. Me being 21 and the youngest of my siblings I have indeed been kissed, hugged and either held hands or interlocked arms with every member of my intermediate family. OH my goodness. What kind of person am I? Let's see I have even been hugged and kissed by all my grandparents and my aunts and uncles and cousins. HOLY COW!! Let me just think of another instance. I have had my back rubbed by my mom. Oh NO! And I would say that most of these things have happened within the past 6 months. HOw scandalous am I?
yes, but it is doubtful that those people have shown you "manly affection" -- the term "Manly affection" sounds like a Man loving a woman in the terms of a passionate and sexual love. that was the term. and that is inappropriate. Furhter, she then went on to acknowledge the desire to be "physically loved" and stated that her father "physically loves her"
I'm sorry, the words sound very inappropriate. that's my final comment on the issue.
it doesn't matter. she would clearly let her father touch her in any way he wanted.
First of all, I'd like to apoligize for anything hurtful I might have said above, and for intruding upon your right to remain anon.
Second of all, I'd like to address your last comment. You know, one thing I've learned about that really helps online and amongst bloggers is using the 'definition by context' method. It looks like I need to define two phrases: "manly affection" and "physically loved".
Now, I don't personally know Jen, or her family, but I can define these two phrases and much else that she says by taking a look at what she means but it. Here are the accurate contextual definitions of the aboves statements from what I have observed, Jen can tell us if I'm wrong.
1) Manly Affection: a) affection meaning a demonstration of love b) manly meaning according to men, (strong, protective, caring)
What is meant in this statement 'manly affection' is the following: "Affection that is demonstrated and proven in a strong, protective, and caring manner, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. In this case we can add "fatherly" which would entail guidance as well.
2) Physically Loved a) 'physically' means: demonstrated in a physical manner b) 'loved' means: a demonstration of affection which is already existent.
Therefore we conclude that 'physically loved' means the following in the context of the post: Receiving love demonstrated physically in a pure, holy, and consecrated manner.
How am I sure? The Spirit bears witness.
>>>I'm sorry, the words sound very inappropriate. that's my final comment on the issue.<<<
I agree with you that the words may have lead to misunderstanding. However, it is important for us to understand the context of the words and the character of the individual before coming to rash conclusions.
>>>it doesn't matter. she would clearly let her father touch her in any way he wanted.<<<
There is two responses to that: first, she knows her father would never touch her in a way that would be dishonoring to her glory, so that is not part of this topic. second of all: if he were she would not let him. That is a statement. Your conclusion was baseless.
I hope I have explained this sufficiently. Next time, try to find some evidence for your conclusions other than possible meanings of words. It's wise.
Thank you. but i don't need a lecture from a naive 18 year old child who has never experienced any form of sex in his life, so will not exactly understand what "manly love" may be interpreted as.
also, if a child blindly loves a relative, including a father, this allows an opportunity for a relative to take full advantage of that child. it happens every day in this world. men, adult men, should not be touching young girls who are becoming women. should not be hugging them too tightly so as to feel their growing breasts. its not appropriate holding hands is a sign of affection, which should be shared between a couple, husband and wife. not husband and 15 year old daughter. that is strange.
I acknowledge my infancy in these matters. I acknowledge that I do not know all that it *can* be interpreted as.
But this I know. I was correct in this interpretation.
Please review what I said about culture. You are coming from a different background than me, we will have to understand that. Hugging a woman, my mother, or my womanly 15 yr old sister, are all very very common to me, as well as my brothers, and my father. I do know what I'm talking about, my family is very much the same. We hug a LOT and we hug TIGHT. I don't kiss my 15yr old sister, but I kiss my littler ones. And if I was born in a different cultural setting I might be telling you that I kiss almost every woman. Holding hands is a sign of close friendship, a daughter to hold hands with her father while walking or talking is just fine. In some cultures it's a practice to blow in eachothers ears to show affection between parents and children. Intent is everything, culture has so many aspects to it. Every family has it's own microculture. Step out of your world, and take a look at another's.
I am Canadian, Canada is diverse, we learn to respect the cultures of others, the practices of others. It's wise.
18 or 81, it doesn't make much difference, facts are still facts.
In fact I'm 17. Make you feel better?
you made my point. you don't kiss your 15 year old sister. why? are you afraid it may be taken as a sexual act?
what is also strange is that this girl will only kiss and hug her father until she is married. she finds it strange to kiss a boyfriend? what is strange, is at the age of 15 to not be interested in men and boys, but worshipping your father and adoring his touching you. that sounds highly questionable.
I would have to make a comment here...
As for not being interested in other men... What can I say? I'm a girl. Every girl is attracted to a good looking, respectful young man. And both my parents know that without their wise instruction and guiding hand in my life, I would not be able to control my desire to one day be loved by an attractive young man.
My daughterly love for my father and his affectionate protectiveness for me is a natural affection that develops through the father/daughter bond. The only reason I am not dating now is because my father wants to make sure I find the right guy; his holding me back in showing physical or emotional affection towards another man is not out of selfishness or immorality; he is holding me back because he loves me so much he doesn't want to see me hurt by another man.
Anonymous; please feel free to continue this discussion with me over e-mail: my address is
thepatriot@surfbest.net
You are welcome to continue discussing this with my readers here as well, as long as you keep the comments clean and respectful.
I'll answer your question:
I don't kiss my sister because I personally am going through a stage of my life where I am waiting to focus those affections upon my wife, my children, and grandchildren.
Some brothers do kiss their sisters and that's just fine, others walk hand in hand, that's just fine, it depends what their own personal comfort level stands at. Some families are very close like that. It's culture. It's not improper.
Intent is everything.
As I said, respect culture. We find all sorts of different things, I find it intriguing. Not upsetting.
Anyways... I could go on forever, but I am very dissappointed that this beautiful post by Jennifer turned into a battlefield, much due to me.
Jennifer, thanks again for the wonderful post, I appreciated your attitude. You have a powerful character, may the Lord continue to use you to bless others.
And for now... My dear friend Anon -- for we have become quite inseparable it seems -- I bid you farewell. I apologize for any misunderstanding which may have arisen betwixt us. God Bless!
Just a note here:
Anonymous:
When you say the Jen (or some other person who "blindly" loves their father) would not be aware of a sexual act here on the father's part, I'd like to say a few words: 1. We all may be Christian, young, women (which seems to be degrading in your eyes, forgive me if I have misunderstood you in that matter) but we are most certainly not "blind" to all matters of life. I (or Jen) may love my father "blindly" but I would certainly know if he commited or tried to commit a sin against me. Just because I or any young lady here is a Christian does not suddenly mean that we don't know the difference between an inappropriate and a appropriate act of affection between a father and his daughter.
And I will ditto David and bid farewell (At least on this post.)
Blessings,
Lena
I love my dad..and i think it is cool!!
Thanks so much, David!
I wish I could say as much about my own father-daughter relationship (and much less about my mother-daughter relationship). You are blessed to have such a father.
Mine are traditional Confucianists (at least my mother) and favour boys over girls...*shrug* and do not exactly believe in the concept of openness or showing affection or emotion (hence the saying 'shed blood not tears')
At least I did learn martial arts from my father, which will be a lasting legacy I can pass on to my own kids.;)
Jen,
ignore Annon. They need some serious help and need it now. I cannot believe that someone would post this when it is completely innocent. I am glad that you have such a loving relationship with your father. These days so many people don't even get to spend anytime with their fathers.
The only reason I am not dating now is because my father wants to make sure I find the right guy; his holding me back in showing physical or emotional affection towards another man is not out of selfishness or immorality; he is holding me back because he loves me so much he doesn't want to see me hurt by another man.
are you sure?
your father is "holding you back" from showing affection towars other men? this is not natural. you should stop and consider what his motivations are. and you should stop and consider the "affection" he gives you. and as you grow into a woman, your affection should be towards men who are NOT your family members. That is unnatural. his "protecting" you is not letting you interact with men your own age and learn about relationships.
you should stop and rethink the things that you wrote. and realize, that much of it, seems very concerning to an objective observer.
wow sorry I am completely intruding, but, I couldn't help it. I am a Christian, and I would NEVER hold my father's hand, and especially not my bros hand. I love them all but "MANLY LOVE?!??!?!" that scared me. (sorry, I mean no disrespect at all, I'm just a little concerned. ) I will give my bf a nice long kiss on the lips, but umm, yes I would do things with my bf I would not do with my dad....again, no disrespect, but, I have to agree mostly with anon...and the things you are discussing technically are illegal.
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