Men and Modesty: more common misconceptions
Even though the subject on modesty is usually centered on women, we also have to realize that gals aren’t the only ones who struggle with modesty… right guys? I do believe that men are affected more by dress than women; we girls tend to be touched more by personal affection and romantic gestures than looks, and yet it is still such a blessing to see young men who dress in a modest, yet masculine way. And so I write part two on modesty, and common misconceptions that men (and women) make… guys; please read!
What… don’t men today dress okay?
One of the reasons modesty is usually centered on women is the greater struggle we have to retain our Godly, feminine image… speaking from a female’s perspective, I would have to say that I believe my brothers have it easier fitting in with the world than I do… as masculine dress has not changed so drastically over the years as feminine dress has. And yet, if you take look at the baggy jeans (which show some skin and underwear I do not care to see), tight shirts (look at all that… muscle?) and feminine jewelry, you just might see how men today have very well completed their mission in feminizing their image. No, the majority of young men today and how they dress I find, personally, rather immature and revolting. So please men; wake up, take a look around, and make sure you are the man you should be!
Oh really? Define masculine…
Though I have to laugh at some of the young men in our church who like to wear slightly pinkish shirts, I still hold them in great admiration for their modest, and yet masculine way of dressing. No earrings, (usually) no jewelry, and their pants and shirts actually *gasp* fit! They may not wear skin tight shirts, and yet I can notice and admire their muscles, and I ESPECIALLY appreciate the fact that they are not waddling around like ducks because their pants are falling down. Noah Webster (great guy!) considered masculinity as this; resembling man; coarse, opposed to soft or delicate, as masculine features… and masculineness; the quality or state of being manly; resemblance of man in qualities, as in coarseness of features, strength of body, boldness, etc. Masculinity, really, is the opposite of femininity; soft, tender, and delicate. Now guys, I don’t think you would appreciate me calling you “soft”, “delicate” and “tender”, but really, as I watch masculine dress and leadership do down the drain, that is just what I could call you. So watch out; that necklace may just earn you a feminine title.
Girls don’t notice…
Not all girls are dumb; not all girls are hopeless romantics who blindly fall under the “masculine” man’s charms. There are girls who will not appreciate your dress, and there are women who, later in life, will be searching for a man who expresses his leadership, convictions and manliness through his modest dress. If a man does not have the guts to stand up and proclaim his unique and Godly character and convictions through his dress, then there goes the Godly nation! Without modest dress through strong convictions, our ability as Christians to speak out is lost; if we lose our ability to speak out, we lose those future generations of strong, courageous men. If you walk past me with your shirt unbuttoned and pants falling down, I will simply say a prayer for you and hope you never approach me! Women do notice, and I will be more eager to get to know you and talk to you if you first present to me the strong, outspoken and masculine image of the man that we women need.
True modesty-
1 Peter 3:3-5, 14
Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel- rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands (and fathers). But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled.
Women-
1 Timothy 2:9-10
In like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but which is proper for women in professing godliness, with good works.
Deuteronomy 22:5
A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God.
Why make it harder, young people? Consider these truths-
Mark 7: 21-23
“For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man.”
Men-
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
My prayer-
Psalm 101:3
I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall not depart from me; I will not know wickedness.
Psalm 119: 37
Incline my heart to Your testimonies, and not to covetousness. Turn away my eyes from looking at worthless things, and revive me in Your way.
Modesty… definitely a hard subject to face and come to terms with. Why even try to make that struggle? Yes, for the other men and women… for the young people following your example; for truth, purity, and prosperity, but most of all
Because it honors the Lord our God. Could there be a better reason?
Posts
38 comments:
I agree with you...I try to dress modestly (no sleeveless or shorts - except for PJs).
BTW, I disagree with you on the issue of Miers...for why, see my post.
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=SecDef&tab=weblogs&uid=368639149
:D
Jen, I agree with you that today's "men" (ahem) dress as if they were fashion gods. It's either, pants down around their knees, and big shirts that would fit a giant. Or gold chains and as much jewelry as they can wear. The only jewelry I wear is my mother’s anniversary ring, that I gave her and a gold chain with my fiancé’s ring on it. As for clothes, I have and probably will always be a Levi's Jeans and nice shirt. Plain and simple. (My jeans fit, and don't hang around my knees). The MSM has made some sort of cult out of wearing the loosest, the skimpiest clothes for woman a thing to be had. I prefer a well dressed woman, be it skirt and blouse, of slacks and blouse. (And please, no TATTOOS!!)
Michael
Hey, great post! I believe this is the first time I've ever heard anyone talk about this subject.
So watch out; that necklace may just earn you a feminine title.
I'm curious, do you see a necklace as something a guy shouldn't wear? And where in the Bible does it tell you what would be considered feminine and what is to be considered masculine?
Nice part two! Hopefully the guys out there will start to wear clothes that fit, with belts if necessary. They'll be twice as productive when they find out that they have a free left hand!
"Every time I see a guy doing that I am temped to say. "Your pants are falling down?""
Heehee....say it! :D
Yeah, tatoos are ugly. And I don't think the Bible says necklaces are for women, but...why? What is the point in waering one?
Could you please expound a little on your idea that jewlry is most always feminine.
There are many cases in Scripture that indicate that jewlry is an honor, even for men. Check out Joseph in the Bible.
What jewlry is feminine, and what jewlry is masculine?
I think a wedding ring is one of the most masculine articles of clothing a man could wear. By what standard could you approve of some kinds, yet disapprove of other kinds?
IMO, being a guy, there are some kinds of necklaces I'd consider masculine, and others that I'd definantly consider feminine. The same goes for rings. (And I definantly disapprove of men wearing ear-rings. Scripture is very clear on that.)
p.s. kudos to your perspective on modesty.
Thanx for blogging!
~cman
And I don't think the Bible says necklaces are for women, but...why? What is the point in waering one?
Well, why do women wear them? Because "it looks cool."
I think a lot of this comes down to our culture. In the USA, it would definattly be weird to see a guy in a skirt. But then again, if you're Irish, it's not so weird. (Except, they call it a kilt.)
As a SCOT, I protest the notion that the Irish wear kilts! It is we Scots who wear them! Kilts are NOT women's clothes. They were exclusively in the domain of men (until women began wearing what were men's clothes). The only feminine garment that comes close would be the miniskirt, which not only came AFTER the kilt, but is also immodest. So...kilts are men's clothes. :D That said, a guy wearing an ankle-length dress would be wearing women's clothes. :)
Yes! Thank you Secdef. Apparently my ballet teacher's son is dressing in a kilt for their costume party; (notice the term KILT and not DRESS) I think it is so cool. Wish I could dress up in Scottish dress with him! Thanks Zach!
Ack - Somehow I knew I would get that wrong. Sorry. But still, you do see my point, right?
My question was never really answered; how do you determine what is feminine dress and what is masculine? Where does it say in the Bible guys shouldn't wear skirts or dresses?
Not trying to debate here, I just want to know if you actually have a Biblical reference here or if you are going by our culture alone.
Yeah, no prob, just a little Scottish Pride. :D
No, the Bible doesn't say "dresses are only for women," etc. But it does say that there should be a distinction in dress. And dresses/skirts are obviously women's clothes - throughout history. (And pants are men's clothes, but that is another discussion... :D ) Kilts, and short things like that, are men's clothes, historically.
Danner Boots, Carrhart Jeans, a T-Shirt, and a baseball cap or Straw Cowboy Hat...standard MDG civilian attire. I used to be a 'pretty boy', and honestly, I think it attracted the 'wrong' kind of woman. I am just glad I got the right one now.
Hey, great blog! I found it through links on my friend's Pete and Hannah's blogs.
Nice, post btw... But I do have one comment about guys wearing pink shirts... I personally don't have a problem about it. I know a guy that wears a really nice rather bright pink shirt and tie on Sunday and he's one of the most godly young men I know. He bought a pink shirt because his Dad is brave enough to wear pink. I think there's more of a problem with guys that wear baggy pants tht show much more then I'd like to see
with numerous piercings, etc etc... you kinda mentioned the pink shirt thing in passing so I just though I'd comment. And I also totally agree about the kilt thing. Scots rule! ;-)
I have to agree with everything you said in this post. Though it is easier for a person to judge others easier then it is to judge themselves, I agree with you. And I do want to know what is up with the pants falling down to the knees? One time it was just to much to take and my dad finally told this guy to pull up his pants and put on a belt! *ugh* disgusting!
ROFL - You guys are awesome!
So, from what I've gathered, the Bible doesn't specifically state what is appropriate for a guy and what is appropriate for a woman, right? Because of this, the majority of you are going to base your decisions on our culture?
Jake;
I meant to comment back a while ago on necklaces but I'm pretty sure I lost my comment...
Of course, if you wear a pink shirt or a necklace, I'm still probably going to talk to you; I just, personally, see no reason why any guy should wear a piece of jewelry that has been largely feminine for... quite a while now. Now, a wedding ring I am all for! But really; other than massive chains I really don't see how any guy could find a necklace masculine?
The bible does not clearly give a list of what or what not to wear; however, it does make it clear that we should all examine ourselves and make sure that the image we present is a sensible, modest and gender appropriate one.
Why is pink judged as a "feminine" color? hee, just curious, 'cause i am weird like that.
Jennifer, you said:
"I just, personally, see no reason why any guy should wear a piece of jewelry that has been largely feminine for... quite a while now."
Men have been wearing non-female necklaces for, probably, ever. It has been the pride of Kings, and the honor of princes all through history. Popes, Priests, Pastors and people from all different countries have attibuted to the necklace, not femininity, but honor, all through history.
Obviously men should not wear female jewelry, just as a Queen should not wear a King's crown. There's a difference.
And what is the difference?
That is determined by culture.
(If anyone disagrees with that, I'd be happy to discuss it further...I just hate to fill up the comments section with material that could fill up a whole blog/post. ;-) )
Yay! It's about time someone said something about "Modesty for men"! We ladies aren't the only ones who need to save our bodies for our spouse. Yeppers I hate the underwear hanging out all over. But just as bad is the guys who are wearing WOMENS' jeans! HELLO! Those are reserved for me! It's as bad as him wearing a dress in my opinion. As for the kilt thing.... Kilts rock. IF you're in Scotland or dressing up for something Scottish, just to wear around every day here in America... please don't.
someone said "(And I definantly disapprove of men wearing ear-rings. Scripture is very clear on that.)"
Can you give me a reference on that? I'm doing some research on the subject.
"there is no "Masculan" s/p colors"
Yes! Camo! :D
Gotta wear a belt...what would hold up my gun?? ;-)
rkzneeexactly
Great post Jennifer!
Actually, I think there are some necklaces that are *sorta* masculine. I mean, I've seen some necklaces meant for guys that I wouldn't wear.
"Every time I see a guy doing that I am temped to say. 'Your pants are falling down?'"
Ha-ha, that's funny Aly!
Also, I don't think it specifies in the Bible exactly what the clothing was like for men or women during Bible times. Do you think men wore dress-like outfits like the women did, but styled a little differently?
would you consider a man that wore a Cross hanging from his neck to be less of a man for wearing jewelry?
Does he really need to wear that cross to show his devotion to God? I'm not condemning necklaces for guys; I'm just saying, why wear them? I still believe necklaces are, for the most part, a feminine thing to wear.
Yes, a necklace should most definatly be a girl thing.
Great Post Jen! It was well thought out and had a valuable point.
The sad thing is, most people don't understand clothing.
Clothing has three points, like everything. In order of importance we need to understand the following things:
Theology, Technique, Technology.
The Theology is the spiritual purpose. Clothing is to HIDE the body, not just cover it. Thus, the better your clothing hides your body, the better it serves it's spiritual purpose.
Technique. The mental reasoning behind picking clothing resides in its purpose. You can't go run a tractor in a business suit, and I can't exactly herd the cattle around in a tie. Clothing has it's purposes, and we should, after making sure it covers our body, make sure it suits it's purpose in what we're doing.
Technology. This is the style aspect of the clothing. Technology, style, is always shifting. While the Theology of clothing has been the same since the fall of mankind, and the Technique of clothing has remained basically the same for hundreds of years, the style is constantly changing.
The problem today, is people put technology over theology, and even over technique. Just a personal expression of that one.
And [b]Palm Boy[b], necklaces have been a sign of sumbmission throughout history. Even the military understands this. That's why the soldiers wear dog-tags around their neck. :-)
Make sense?
To continue to the necklace post, because the necklace shows submission/slavery/servitude, it's been considered a femenine thing.
The same for earings.
Great post. I think that since there has been a lot of emphasis, especially in conservative circles, on women only it has left young men to themselves. As a young man, I personally dispise those whimps who waddle around like ducks. We need men who are willing to lead the world not 2-yr. olds. NOT only that, but wearing a lot of that jewelry and those fall-off pants are really impractical. If those young men ever need to save somebody or something, they won't be able to run. Their jewelry will get caught, tangled, ect. I'm sorry, I don't mean to be so harsh, but I just can't understand why young men want to fit in the world so much!
Hey Jennifer,
I have been reading many of your blogs and I love that you speak your opinion on many controversial matters. I could be seen as a conservative kid in a very liberal world. I am a follower of Jesus, but I am trying to show my friends that Christians can have many different opinions- we aren't all republicans who are of the same political mind. We are followers of Jesus and the Bible. This brings me to the dressing thing. I hope that you do not feel that guys who sag their pants, have inch plugs in their ears, or have a strage color of hair are not walking with God. If you feel that God is calling you to dress in a very conservative manner, then please do so. But know that Jesus sees past such trivial physical things. My youth pastor would definitely fall into a negative category here, and so would I. I believe this is because we aim to be culturally relevant- and show that we are reaching out to kids armed with the Word of God. I admire humility an modesty- but what I admire more is those things coupled with a passion for outreach to the lost, if you reach this, thanks for your time- jesusfreakballer@hotmail.com
I appreciate your arcticle very much. I was wondering if you could tell me if girls are affected even the slightest bit by the way a guy dresses. By that does it do anything negatively to a girl if let's say a guy has a tight shirt on showing his muscles? And if it does do something to a girl what does it do? I got into a big discussion already and can clearly see why we need to dress modestly but i was wondering what your take on that would be. I don't have a blog but my e-mail address is bryan@sonlightservices.com
Great post as usual...I don't think pink is limited neccassarily to girls though it tends to be more appealing to the feminine nature, I personally don't like pink on a guy but i do admit they have to be brave to wear it...my youth pastor wore pink tonight and he wears hemp necklaces and a chain with his wedding ring and his wife's ring on it I honestly don't think that makes him anyless of a man He is one of the most Godly men I know--but to each his own I guess its everyones preference. I hate earrings in a guy it is so tacky and just unattractive that is def a girl thing. Awesome post!!
Interesting post. I can't stand other boys/men having their paints falling down. I have seen it as bad as the wrong side of the underwear, I don't know how they stay there. I live in Australia, where the weather is hot enough to almost get away with shorts and t-shirt 365 days a year (not too hard to go out side late a night in the middle of winter in a t-shirt). My preference of having my pants above my waste, and shirt tucked in often makes be the odd one out, and has drawn comment several times.
PS since this is my first comment I might add I am home schooled too.
hey! that was a great post. Let me say something to all guys out there:
Be it the beach, pool, or anywhere else where you take off your shirt- I NOTICE!!! Do you know how tempting it is just to stare at your muscles? Your toned arms..back..belly..agh. And Lord help me if I see the "V" cut line. Its very hard. When your shirt is on I have no trouble keeping my thoughts pure but when it comes off, well, think about a hot girl in a bikini.
p.s- keep your pants up!
~ Sarah, 17.
Necklaces can be masculine....but the great majority of necklaces I see on guys today are quite feminine.
As a side note, in the Bible, we are told that men and womens clothes are not to be mixing - and other then the "punk" type look that is "hot" right now (yuck!) women in the last few hundred years have been the ones to wear the jewelry. I think a big part of this whole issue has to do with the present culture - most of the time, when wearing jewelry, guys are in some sort of rebellion, be it to God, Civil Magistrates, or their parents.
BTW, ear-rings, in the OT, signified that a man was not a freeman.
The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man,neither shall a man put on a woman's garment:for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.
Deuteronomy 22:5 KJV
Post a Comment