Our Family Profile: with humor

Dad: (over the hill, but still the most handsome father and husband ever)
Dad has always been skinny, which we often blame on his stressful work situations and moldy lunch that always manages to find it’s way into his lunch bag. Living through seven children going through seven different (and not always easy) stages of childhood has added to his gray hair and probably deducted ten years off his life; nonetheless he somehow keeps a cheerful, hardworking attitude when he comes home and often graciously overlooks the burned biscuits that an aspiring cook has created for supper.

Mom: (Older then she looks and probably younger than she feels)
Mom is just one of those people that somehow ignores the chaos around her and often ends up being the only one that is calm in “life threatening” situations. Claiming the role of a certified nurse, cook, interrogator, judge, counselor, teacher, dentist, surgeon, and chauffer, she is very capable of running a household of five boys and two girls and should be highly recommended as the worlds most qualified mom.

Joshua: 18
As the firstborn, Joshua readily and naturally excepted his role as chief tester of mom and dad’s patience and endurance. He is also the one to lead the way into dramatic happenings; first speeding ticket, car crash, and hospital bill are always the most memorable events in a teenager boy’s life. He is known for his funny writing skills and above-our-heads humor. His main interests have always been those that challenged him most; chess, math, business, drums, etc. He graduated from the Wise Guys Home School with honors and a full ride to the University in Lincoln. He continues to pursue his studies there and apparently has great fun social- uh, studying with his Fraternity brothers.

Emily: 17
As the second child and oldest girl, Emily has sweetly, quietly and diligently taken on the role as the second mother. Even as she models neatness and quality for her siblings, her take-charge manner and demanding spirit often peak through her character when she is challenged. Little boys have learned to fear her wrath. She is an aspiring artist and her impressive drawings are often admired by the onlookers. Her other expertise include; upsetting her younger sister, cleaning, cooking meals, babysitting, grocery shopping and reading. She thinks she is old and often bemoans the fact; her siblings, while sometimes annoyed at her working manners, often find themselves thankful for her and don’t know what they would do without her.

Jennifer: 14
It’s always the in-betweens that have it the worst. Jennifer is the sweet, kind, compassionate (have I missed anything?) younger sister of the Duff household. She often finds herself taking the brunt of most of the anger from siblings; lost items, misunderstandings, and whatnot. She dreams of being a ballerina, mother, singer and actress someday and has too many other interests to mention. She has taken on the role as the official joker since her older brother left (though Caleb often tries to steal the title) and her mother is often gracious enough to laugh at her jokes. Oh; and she likes to write.

Caleb: 11
A typical eleven year-old boy, Caleb enjoys playing with legos, reading Star Wars, swinging outside and terrorizing his brothers. He likes to be constantly up to date on every discussed subject under the sun, and always has a one-liner on hand should the need arise.

Andrew: 7
The image of his father! Andrew is skinny as a stick and the only child to be destined to wear glasses (mother is grateful). He has endured the worst hospital stay in Duff history; two weeks in traction with a broken leg. Believe it or not, he didn’t break it jumping off a roof or some dumb thing like that that boys are always doing. He is a good studier and enjoys playing outside.

Jonny: 5
Jonathan is a little huskier; his sisters envision a great future in the Army Rangers for him. He enjoys; playing with his brothers.

Jeremy: 2
Two years ago, fully expecting a girl, we witnessed the birth of cute little Jeremy… the fifth boy. Deeply disappointed at the chances lost to dote on a baby sister, his older sisters finally fell to doting on him; which, I am sorry to say, has resulted in a rather proud little Duff. He is nonetheless very loved and takes great pleasure (most of the time) in kissing his sisters and being the little cutie he is. He can say “I want to be a Marine” quite well now and we are all convinced the Marines will be glad to have him.

Please note this was all said truthfully; yet with a touch of humor (more or less). Especially the part in reference to myself; if not laughed at, that can cause great problems so… please laugh.